I promise I don’t just read books regarding time travel. I mean, I definitely do read A LOT of time-travelers in love kind of books…but anyway…
There was so much to love about this book. First, it pulls so much from the gothic genre without making you loose sleep from too much creepiness. I actually recommended this book to a friend before I even finished it. She was looking for fall vibes in a gothic setting, so I told her to try this one out. To be honest, it doesn’t have any fall vibes despite its gothic nature and the occasional “phantoms” around tapestried corners, but I would definitely recommend it for a winter read.
The author wrote the book because she found a distinct lack of characters who embodied the experience of living with depersonalization-derealization disorder in literature. Due to these circumstances, moreso than many books I’ve read, our narrator is unreliable. Saiorse struggles to define what her true reality is as she bounces back and forth between the present and the past. Even that “past” cannot be relied upon to be truth- as the narrative we’ve been fed slowly unravels for Saiorse and for us as the readers.
What I loved about the book is that Saiorse finds that, instead of completely derailing her sense of self, she can utilize her derealization and the insights she gained during her episodes with the fictional Theo. It’s likely that Theo is Saiorse’s subconscious reaching out to her to let her know that she is worth love, respect, and connection, from her intended family, the Pages, but also from her biological family. This is “Theo’s” last request, for her to be reconciled with her family. Theo’s stable family life is Saiorse’s deep desire to find and understand any sort of familial attachment.
Also, side note, the author says there are tons of Taylor Swift references in the book, but I confess that I am not a well-versed Swifty, and these references were not glaringly obvious to me. But, if you’re a Swift fan, then there are are some nuggets in there for you!
There were so many times that I wanted to chuck this book simply because I wanted to tell Saiorse to move on! Leave the man who said he wanted to marry you and then infantilized and shamed you for your mental illness! Leave this family that is so emotionally abusive! What is the future actually going to look like in this scenario!? Please! You didn’t want to say yes to the marriage, and you’re readily falling for a man that you’ve constructed in your own mind to be a purer, kinder, if not totally opposite, version of your husband! In true gothic nature, however, these characters are necessary to create the seclusion needed for the character to feel isolated. As if the strange, foreboding house isn’t enough! This isolation, though, is that catalyst gothic heroes and heroines need to launch themselves into a need for discovery- whether that be the discovery of the secrets of the house, its tenants (alive, dead, nefarious, benign, or otherwise), or the internal discoveries the character must confront when their search leads them inward.
It is this internal battle, the quest for personal truth, that makes the book worth reading. It may be slow in places, but the pace falters only due to deep contemplations by our narrator and, I believe, our author speaking through the character, as they grasp for both control of their perceptions and also freedom from the perspective of others.
“You are so much more than the things that darken your mind and make you fear and forget yourself. If others cannot see that, it is their loss, not your folly to remedy” (263)
Where Ivy Dares to Grow by Marielle Thompson
Kat Fink 